HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SON!! Yes I am feeling old today!! My baby is 11!! I used to love it when they were all about mom and dad, we were their best friends! Now I am lucky if I get a hug! sniff sniff! Soon he will have a little girl friend who will break his heart and I will have to cut hers out. The circle of life, isn't it grand!




What Your Car Says About You



Acura Integra -- I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars

Acura Legend -- I'm too bland for German cars

Acura NSX -- I am impotent

Audi 90 -- I enjoy putting out engine fires

Buick Park Avenue -- I am older than 34 of the 50 states

Cadillac Eldorado -- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman

Cadillac Seville -- I am a pimp

Chevrolet Camaro -- I enjoy beating up people

Chevrolet Chevette -- I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette

Chevrolet Corvette -- I'm in a mid-life crisis

Chevrolet El Camino -- I am leading a militia to overthrow the government

Chrysler Cordoba -- I dig the rich Corinthian leather

Datsun 280Z -- I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well

Dodge Dart -- I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower

Dodge Daytona -- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car

Ford Fairmont -- (See Dodge Dart)

Ford Mustang -- I slow down to 85 in school zones

Ford Crown Victoria -- I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them

Geo Storm -- I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.

Geo Tracker -- I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.

Honda del Sol -- I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all

Honda Civic -- I have just graduated and have no credit

Honda Accord -- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.

Infiniti Q45 -- I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.

Isuzu Impulse -- I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.

Jaguar XJ6 -- I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.

Kia Sephia -- I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.

Lincoln Town Car -- I live for bingo and covered dish suppers

Mercury Grand Marquis -- (See above)

Mercedes 500SL -- I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph

Mercedes 560SEL -- I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole

Mazda Miata -- I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler

MGB -- I am dating a mechanic

Mitsubishi Diamante -- I don't know what it means either

Nissan 300ZX -- I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.

Oldsmobile Cutlass -- I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts

Peugeot 505 Diesel -- I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List

Plymouth Neon -- I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena

Pontiac Trans AM -- I have a switchblade in my sock

Porsche 944 -- I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me

Rolls Royce Silver Shadow -- I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal

Saturn SC2 -- (See Honda Civic)

Subaru Legacy -- I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu

Toyota Camry -- I am still in the closet

Volkswagon Beetle -- I still watch Partridge Family reruns

Volkswagon Cabriolet -- I am out of the closet

Volkswagon Microbus -- I am tripping right now

Volvo 740 Wagon -- I am frightened of my wife