What a Concept

Funny

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

Support bacteria - the only culture some people have.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case; Coincidence?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.