Leigh Brock: Today!!!!

25 Ways to Annoy the Pizza Guy

25. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
24. When they repeat your order, say, "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
23. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
22. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
21. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
20. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting
19. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper
18. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream GOODBYE at the top of your lungs.
17. Imitate the order taker's voice.
16. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that
15. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
14. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he says it, say, "Please don't mention that word."
13. Change your accent every three seconds.
12. Ask them to not put a band-aid on it this time or you will sue.
11. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
10. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
9. Order a one-inch pizza.
8. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
7. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
6. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
5. Ask them if you get a free date with one of the staff if you make an order over $30.
4. Ask if the pizza is organically grown
3. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
2. Ask for extra homo-sapien
1. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair

Leigh Brock

Leigh Brocks Blog

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Today!!!!

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