Top Ten Rejected Valentine's Day Cards

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk,
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

9. Our love will never become cold and hollow,
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store,
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.

7. This feels so good, it feels so right,
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class,
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-fat ass.

5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished,
But now I'm fulfilled, SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!

4. Through all the things that came to pass,
Our love has grown, but so has your ass!

3. You're a honey, and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".

2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny,
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister,
You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!