Signs That You Really Are Going Bald

1. People keep referring to you as 'Captain Picard'.
2. Your part keeps getting wider...and wider.
3. You wear a T-Shirt that says, "The more hair I lose, the more head I get!"
4. People start calling you 'Mr. Clean'.
5. Your hair is actually 5 feet long because you use it to cover the bald part!
6. You get more coupons for Rogaine than you get free America On-Line disks.
7. The thought of growing your eyebrows to preposterous lengths and combing them straight back actually crosses your mind.
8. People always chasing you with billiard sticks.
9. Your name is MICHAEL BOLTON!
10. In the morning, your wife tells you the sun rises twice!
11. You need sunglasses to look at your reflection in the mirror first thing in the morning.
12. You're still using the same bottle of shampoo after two years...and it ain't "economy-sized", neither!
13. The barber starts charging you less for hair-cuts.
14. Movie producers call you to star in a remake of Kojac.
15. You think William Shatner's hair piece looks pretty good!
16. You actually wear that, "Solar panel for a sex machine," t-shirt.
17. Each day takes longer to wash your face.
18. You no longer have a dandruff problem.
19. Your dog is irritated by how much you are shedding.
20. You're not just the President of the Hair Club for Men, you're now a member