Things You Don't Want To Hear Your Pilot Say Funny 1. "The union president called - he said the pilots' strike starts IMMEDIATELY." 2. "We'll just ask the flight attendant to wake us up when we get there." 3. "My name is Forrest Gump - people call me Forrest Gump." 4. "Hey, Jim, do you remember where we're going?" 5. "Buckle your seat belt - I'm going to try something I saw in a cartoon." 6. "Bye, bye, Miss American Pie..." 7. "Wow, we're sure a lot lighter now that we dropped that second engine!" 8. "Only 500 more flight hours, and I'll get my license!" 9. "They say this plane practically flies itself. Good thing, huh?" 10. "TODAY WE DIE FOR ALLAH!"