Bathroom Grafitti

Jokes

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Go ahead and take risks... just be sure that everything will turn out OK.
Good judgement comes from experience...... and a lot of that comes from bad judgement ! Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Gene Police: YOU.. Out of the pool! A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Clones are people, two. Rap is to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.

Help stamp out and eradicate superflous redundancy. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not

Dyslexics have more nuf. Ground Beef: A cow with no legs.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check. There are two theories about arguing with a woman. . . neither one works!

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.

Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it up and put it back in your pocket.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as warning to others. Paranoids are people too; they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.

Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

Change is inevitable....except from vending machines. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Asking a stupid question is better than repairing a stupid mistake. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks.

Two wrongs are only the beginning. No one ever says,"It's only a game," when their team is winning.

I believe that five out of four people have trouble with fractions. What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men?

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they grow older, then it dawned on me..... they were cramming for their finals.