You know life sucks when..

Jokes

1)You wake up - face down on the pavement

2)You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold

3)You see a "60 minutes" news team waiting for you in your office

4)Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles

5)Your son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business

6)You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city

7)Your twin sister forgets your birthday

8)You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then you realize you don't have a waterbed

9)Your car-horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of hells angels on the freeway

10)Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and YOU have a headache

11)Your boss tells you to not bother taking off you coat

12)The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard

13)You wake up and your braces are locked together

14)You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business

15)Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife